The Times They Are A-Changing...

I walked off the plane into this moment of newness and it seems as soon as my suitcase hit the ground everything started to change. I'll admit that the change has been slow to come for me. It takes a different kind of individual to succeed here, and in order to be an effective leader here everything must change. I was naive in thinking that a hungry heart and a passion for youth would be enough. I just bought my first planner yesturday. I never thought I'd be that kind of guy, never really wanted to live by a to-do list and though it may be naive of me to think this way... I thought that if I had made it this far, maybe I could ride that wave that way till I one day reached the shore. I'm really writing this because I want to say that I am desperately trying to step up to the challenge of being more organized and better managing my time. And the reason behind that is the students here. If I can really improve here with my job performance I think in turn, I will better serve the students. I pray that the Lord will have mercy on me as I go through these growing pains and as I learn to not live life one wave at a time but one page at a time, one day at a time.

Retreat & Re-Focus

Well, I've been super busy the past few weeks, getting back to work as my collar bone continues to heal and travelling a bit. Its a fight of faith, this christian life, this calling to follow Christ. I know that something is developing in me through this that I can't quite explain but it's been encouraging to see the Lord carry me through this time in my life. He is completely faithful, steadfast in affection and love for those who seek Him and who cling to Him. I feel like a kid holding the hand of my daddy just asking him to not let go because the chaos of this world around me I just don't quite understand.

I was in Prague, Czech Republic for 4 days last week. We had our MCYM Staff Retreat in Prague and we utilize this time to grow closer to Christ, to step back from ministry and just take a deep breath and try to listen to what God would say to us. Our Region of MCYM met together every morning to read the scriptures and sing worship songs as one. It was amazing to me to think about the fact that Prague is such an atheistic city. In that room as we sang with our hearts directed toward heaven, who knows... we may have been the first christians to ever just worship God in that room. I had the feeling that those praises were breaking through some kind of thick spiritual canopy that covers the city.

My favorite aspect of our devotions that I want to share with you is our focus as MCYM Staff, as Club Beyond leaders. Our Regional Director made the comment that he could give us a nice little one line focus statement, something that he could speak into our lives that we could all go home repeating in our heads over and over... that little one line statement could become our vision statement, our motto, our focus. But he didnt do that, he refocused that into what our ministry is really about: Jesus. Our mission is Jesus. Our message is Jesus. Our strength is Jesus. Our hope is Jesus. Our life is Jesus. Our walk is with Jesus. Our truth is Jesus. Our reality is Jesus. Our faith is Jesus. Our righteousness is Jesus.

When you focus your mission on Him, thats when you see clearly what you are to do next, thats when He becomes a lamp unto your feet. I was so thankful to hear Jimmy's heart about that... I'm thankful to serve with someone who recognizes that we must first grow closer to Christ ourselves so that we can share Christ with others as well.

Life & Faith

Through all the struggles of life and faith it is amazing to hear from God... He speaks to us through His son Jesus Christ. He loves us with unfailing mercy and grace. He is truth and holy. His holiness is honestly something I can't even grasp... He is completely other.

I've been holding on and choosing to trust in a God that would leave all the glories of Heaven to die for me. Learning to look at the cross instead of my shortcomings. Remembering the past and how He changed me, washed me and made me new. I was addicted, broken and empty yet He met me where I was. In these harder times I've been remembering the first days of being transformed and it makes me thankful before Him. Just like Habakkuk I am waiting and listening and God is speaking and I am growing in faith as the result. Our walk with God is not validated by circumstance but by His love.

Habakkuk Ch 3 Verses 17-19 read,
17.Though the fig tree should not blossom And there be no fruit on the vines, Though the yield of the olive should fail And the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold And there be no cattle in the stalls, 18.Yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. 19. The Lord GOD is my strength, And He has made my feet like hinds' feet, And makes me walk on my high places.

This is this kind of faith I want, need and am praying for... As it all falls apart progress cannot be measured, it is in these times that I want to sing of His goodness and take joy in His presence.

God grant me faith that I might know you MORE.

a new poem I wrote today

"Palace Gardens"

under heaven songbirds sing
empty sky still opening
footstep shadows in the grass
still streams tempted by bubbling brooke
insects delicately wandering
thoughts dismayed at rest
silent heart now healing
nature makes sense of this mess
to the ground all collide
from the inner soil of life
breathe a deep breath of hope
:to love and to be loved.

"Crisis of Belief"

I can surely sense that I've hit a wall of faith in my walk with God or what Henry Blackaby referes to as a "crisis of belief". What I believe in my heart just doesn't match up to what I see in my life. I want to be more effective in sharing Christ, give more and serve from a purer place in my heart. As I pray for the next level and hold on to God through the continous spiritual storms of life I trust that the righteous will live by faith. Though I may not see what God is doing I will trust that He is good and continue.

I don't think I'm alone in this place, I believe that many christians come to this crossroad where we must choose to trust that Christ is in control even when it appears that the wicked prosper as we suffer and the darkness seems to allude the light.

Jesus, you are my King... and I will serve you. I will turn my eyes to the cross, because your shed blood makes sense of my pain. If they rejected you they will surely despise me. I trust that faith is the only true currency in this bankrupt world and I will trust in who You are. Make me a humble giving servant. Forgive me for being saturated with self and distracted by the temporary things of this life. Lead me and show me the way everlasting. Amen.

Collision

Last night was amazing... for me. Earlier in the day I saw that Kevin was praying about the Collision service at PLBC for that night. I wished so badly I could just be there and once again be a part of what God is doing in the midst of the students at Promise Land. I desperately miss being a part of such a loving church. You can always feel the love of Christ when you walk around or near that church, or when you spend time with the people.

I started praying that the Lord would be lifted up and that He would do something special last night. I was at home watching some movies late and as I was just about to go to bed I decided to check my twitter one last time and BAM! There Kevin was twittering a link to watch the service live online.

I followed the link and there they were. The band practicing for the show, my friends walking around the room. It reminded me of their faithfullness to the Lord. They are still being used by God in the lives of His people. I saw grace and truth collide last night and I'm now changed and challenged to make the most of my life for Him. I'm all in!

Thanks Promise Land...

Transformed

My friend Jimmy made this video from day 1 of Service Project 2009.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2kufVHEAJA

This too shall pass...

It's another afternoon here in Ladenburg, Germany. Another day of rest, my next chance to clean my dirty clothes, rest my bones, read a book and or close my eyes. It's quite warm today so I decided to put on my flip flops (I havent worn flip flops since I arrived in Europe) and stroll through town and maybe grab a bite to eat. I stopped at the Galleria Pizzaria on the Hauptstrasse. There were some tables outside where you can stop and eat while the town passes by on foot or on bicycle. There are musicians playing in the street for change, people shopping, tourists wide eyed, children laughing and you just get the feeling that everyone is enjoying life together. Its a slow pace, long stare, deep breath kinda town. It's a sit by the bridge in the park and watch the water pass you by and listen to the wind sing kinda place. I sat down to order a Gnocchi alla Romana from the streetside cafe. As I approached the table two elderly gentlemen also sat down. I'm a complete stranger who can speak hardly any German but the three of us just sat down and made the most of the moment. They had just visited the Mercedes Museum that is just down the street and they actually gave me a free pass to go check it out this month. They told me about Heidelberg in different seasons and how much they love Ladenburg. Since all the MCYM Staff and Students are in Czech for Service Project I've been just stuck here and it was so nice to actually have some human interaction today. So now that I'm home I just felt like jotting down this terrific little lunch I had and sharing this experience. I know it's in my best interest for me to rest and let my bones heal so I'm trying to enjoy the little things that happen this week.

Storm

In this place at this time the words to this song have felt so real to me. It almost seems autobiographical... I know that I am being strengthened within by facing this storm and these obstacles face to face, and I know that I must take my faith to the next level to overcome.

How long have I been in this storm?

So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form

Water's getting harder to tread

With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you

Everything would be allright

If I'd see you

This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

And know everything will be allright

And know everything is allright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown

So why am I ten feet under and upside down

Barely surviving has become my purpose

Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you

Everything would be allright

If I'd see you

This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

And know everything will be allright

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

And know everything will be allright

And know everything is allright

Everything is allright

Everything is allright

by LifeHouse

MCYM Service Project 2009

Tonight a double decker bus filled with students and leaders from MCYM will drive through the night toward Opava, Czech Republic. MCYM Club Beyond Service Project 2009 starts tonight! I'm not able to attend because of my collar bone injury. This is one of the biggest events of the year for MCYM, a place where students can have the opportunity to serve through construction, language and VBS type ministries. I'm not actually in on all the activities that will be going down since I'll be resting here in Ladenburg all week.

Please pray that the Lord will make Himself known through Service Project 2009. I know that if I was healthy enough, it would be one of my greatest honors to serve alongside those students this week.